Jillian Michaels, help!

Today I started an 8-week workout program on my treadmill designed by Jillian Michaels. Do ya'll know her? She's one of the physical trainers on the Biggest Loser. Anyway, I decided that I could start on level two of her Get Fit program. I suppose I had deceived myself into thinking that I am somewhat fit and don't need to start at level one. Well, the veil of denial has been lifted! I am unfit! Totally! As I tell you a bit about my workout, keep in mind that this was Day One, yes Day One folks! I start off with a brisk walk and Jillian Michael's voice telling me that she believes in me and I can do this! This is going to be great, I think to myself. Soon she's adding an incline and telling me why. "Okay", I mentally agree. A little tough, but doable. Before long she has me pumping at 6 mph on an incline! She also has the gall to remind me to take slow, deep breaths (I swear she could hear me panting like a dog in heat!). I feel like I am running as fast as I can and this is supposed to be a powerwalk - seriously! Just when I think my head is going to explode, she tells me that I did well and deserve a rest. "Yes!", I continue to mentally agree with her. So she slows the treadmill down to 5.5 mph so that I can recover. Now I no longer mentally agree. I want to shout "5.5 is still a sprint for my short, chubby legs! Help!". I try to stay with it, but have to hang on to the treadmill now. Within a few seconds, annoying Jillian tells me not to hold on to the treadmill because I'm reducing my workout by 20% if I do. Does she have a hidden camera in my house or something? "Oh well!", I argue back, "I'm just surviving here." She soon sends me back to 6 mph and I manually overrride her. She's telling me to visualize my goals and all I can visualize is myself being slung off the end of this speeding treadmill, hitting my head on the wall behind me, and landing in a curled ball to wait hours until someone finds me there. Okay, I need to work on the visualization thing. She did say something that encouraged me to keep pushing: "We are changing the shape of your body, right now!" And she made me laugh once: "If you're not cursing at me yet, then I'm not doing my job." Funny! Well, day one was much harder than I thought and I'm committed to 8 weeks of this self-torture. I did cheat and lower the speed and I definitely held on to the treadmill. Still, I did burn 350 calories in 30 minutes! Yay! I may have to do day one over and over until I can do it without cheating or praying not to pass out. I'm just hoping I can stick to it for more than a week. Honestly, that's my track record. Can I really change and stick to something? An old song just popped into my head, one that I know you children of the 80's will remember: "I'm gonna make a change, for once in my life! It's gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference, gonna make it right!" You know you used to like it before Michael Jackson ruined his nose and became a pedophile, right? Just a little walk down memory lane! I do realize that he wrote it for much bigger purposes than this, so I hope he doesn't mind me applying it to my workout woes. Don't worry, exercising is not my world, but I do need to make a change! I suddenly feel inspired again. Maybe that Jillian Michaels is getting to me after all...