Sometimes I long for rest. It calls to me like a hidden treasure, lying to me that once it is found I will be happy. If only I had more time to myself, I think. If only I could do something without something else being constantly undone. As I dwell, I mope, losing the joy. Yet isn't it when I am undone that joy is truly found? Doesn't He say that when I lose it all, I gain the truest of treasures? Why do I hold so tightly then? Dreams of things easier choke me, idols rising to dethrone the One I claim to love most. He was poured out, like wine on the offering table for me. He came, not to walk the easy path, but the one marked for Him, full of pain and shame and giving up and rejection, out of ultimate love for me, this soul who constantly rejects. Often my feet drag to obedience, but still He moves them. I drive there to serve, often thinking that I'd rather stay home and crawl into pajamas and my place on the couch, and He rewards me with richer treasures than rest. My sweetest communion with Him comes when I am poured out for others. A privilege, it is, not a burden. In just two hours, I travel to Burma, and Chile, and Columbia, and Japan, and the Dominican Republic! He allows me to be His hands helping, His heart sharing, His words speaking! Amazing, that He would take this ingrate and use me in spite of myself! Oh God, who loves this forgetful one! May You keep teaching me that joy comes from being fully emptied, that I may be filled by You!
“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field."
Matthew 13:44
2 comments:
Beautifully said.
How did you know my thoughts and then write them down so eloquently? I'm so thankful for our friendship.
Post a Comment